How I Go
by SupernaturalFan06
Summary: It's Mother's Day and Olivia Jones wants more than nothing to have her mother back in her life. What if she gets the chance to change that all when she is taken back to the past when her mother is still alive.
1. Prologue

_**Dear mum,**_

 _ **These are the flowers I would have bought you and this is the card I would have written you. I've spent most my life trying to fill in the blanks, asking everyone around me about you. The memories of you tucked away in a box in the attic. I don't remember what your perfume smelt like or what made you laugh, but I'll never forget lying in your hospital bed, drawing picture with you. Your rebellious little six year old.**_

 _ **I'm writing this to tell you were so strong. That I wish you didn't have to look at your daughter knowing that you'll never see her get taller, get heart broken, get married. I'm sorry the fits I threw, the I love you mums I never got to say. And I'm sorry that its taken 21 years to write this card and it's still not perfect.**_

 _ **I'm writing this because I'd give anything just to be able to fight with you. I never got to ignore your phone calls because you were to over bearing. I never got to introduce you to girlfriends or boyfriends that you say are bad for me, and I'd tell you, you dont understand but months later I'd realise you were right.**_

 _ **I'm writing this because I'm angry that I have to live life only part way. All the year book pictures I took without you to do my hair, the lunches I made myself. I feel like I'm missing out on a huge part of being a woman because your not here. Like a part of me is in that coffin with you, holding onto your leg. While I scoot across the floor begging you not to go. Your were so beautiful, its insane to believe anyone as beautiful as you ever existed on this earth.**_

 _ **I'm writing this because I wish you were here, I wish you could see the woman I've grown into, I wish I knew what flowers you liked and that I could put them in your hands than on a plot of grass with your name on it.**_

 _ **I'm writing this because I want to say thank you, no matter how sick you were all that you wanted to do was make sure I felt loved, making me feel like I was so special and so smart.**_

 _ **I'm writing this because I'll never love as anyone as I miss you.**_

"Happy Mother's Day." Olivia places red roses in a vase in front off Emma's grave stone and sets the card in front of it.

"You ok princess?" Killian asks his daughter. She turns to him and it scares him how much she looks like Emma, the only thing she really inherited from him was his blue eyes.

Olivia stands up beside her dad and he pulls her in for a hug, kissing the top of her head.

"I wish she was here." she mumbles into her father's chest.

"Aye, I wish the same everyday." He replies pulling his daughter in for a tighter hug.


	2. Memories

Olivia and Killian pull up outside the house in the little yellow bug that Emma wanted past onto Olivia or Henry when they finally learnt to drive.

Killian notices the motorcycle in front of them and gives a little smile. Henry.

Olivia also notices rushing on in ahead of her father.

She burst through the door looking for him finding him sitting in the living room reading.

"Henry!" she cries out with joy. Henry stands up and gives his sister a cuddle. "You never told us you were coming to visit."

"Well, it was a surprise. Only Gramps and Grandma knew I was coming." Henry looks up to see Killian coming into the living room. "Hey dad."

Killian smiles as Henry and Olivia open up from there hug to invite him in to join them.

"Glad to see you back." Killian tells Henry.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Later that night Olivia, Henry and Killian are sitting in the kitchen in the house after a brief catch up with Regina and the Charmings. Henry is sitting with his glass of wine while, Olivia and Killian are sharing a bottle of rum.

"I remember the look on mums face when I showed up at her door, telling her I was her son." Henry laughs looking back on it. What he'd give to see his mum opening the door to him one last time.

Killian takes a sip of his rum and places the glass back on the table. "Well lad, if I had a child show up at my door claiming they were mine I'd be in shock as well, god I'd be running for the hills."

"Even now? After you have helped raise us two?" Henry questions Killian.

"No, not now, but in the past I would have." he replies.

Olivia butts in. "Nah dad, you know I still think it would shock you if a child showed up claiming you to be there father." she pats him on the shoulder teasing him.

"May I add, lucky she never tied you up to question you when she first met you." Killian changes the subject.

"Considering I was a kid she couldn't, she threaten to call the cops on me." Henry says.

Olivia watches as her brother and father swap there memories of Emma. She is is kind of jealous they got longer with her. They got to spend time with her before she became sick. Olivia can only remember when her mother was sick, they are the memories she has. She remembers at the age of six walking to to find her having a very bad nose bleed, she was loosing so much blood she fell to the floor, with Emma telling her to get Henry. She remembers her mum going to all the treatments going in and out of hospital to visit her.

One day she remembers most her mum was really upset she was in hospital again.

 _Olivia is outside her mums hospital door, she had sneaked out of school knowing she would be in big trouble. She can hear Emma crying in the room. Olivia gets up out the seats outside the door and pokes her head around the door. That's when Emma notices her and starts wiping away her tears quickly, she never wanted Olivia to see how much it all upset her, she wanted to show her how strong of a woman she was._

 _"Mummy, why are you so upset?" Olivia quietly speaks._

 _Emma sits up in her hospital bed. "Olivia what are you doing here? Everyone is out looking for you. Daddy and me are very worried."_

 _Olivia puts her head down cause she knows she is trouble. "I just missed you, I wanted a hug and I haven't got to see you in a few days, Daddy said I couldn't see you till you were feeling better." she starts crying._

" _Hey, sweetie don't cry." Emma pats the bed. "Come her and and give me a hug, your not in trouble we were just so worried about in case something had happened. You can't run out of school and not tell anyone were you are going."_

 _Olivia climbs up onto the hospital bed with a bit of help from Emma, she holds her in her arms._

" _You know what baby, I feel much better now your here." Emma places a little kiss on her forehead._

" _You do?" Olivia asks her looking at her mother with her big blue eyes with so much hope in them, which causes Emma to smile._

 _Emma reaches over to grab her phone beside her. "I need to text daddy tell him were you are." she starts texting Killian and Olivia snuggles closer beside her mum._

" _When are you coming home mummy?" Olivia asks._

 _Emma can feel her eyes water and throat tightening up, she just about gets her words out._

" _I'm not coming home this time baby, I have stay here." she chokes up on her words. Breaking her heart trying to tell her little nine year old she is dying._

 _Olivia looks up to her mum she is quite shocked. "You're never coming home."_

" _No." a tear falls down Emma cheek._

 _Olivia sits up and reaches across the table giving her mum a tissue. "Mummy you're crying again."_

" _I know...Olivia, I love you, you know that right?" Emma wipes her eyes but the tears are still coming._

" _And I love you too." Olivia goes back into the snuggling position with her mum._

 _Emma starts stoking Olivia long blonde locks of hair making her feel a bit sleepy. "I'm going to have to go away soon, and I won't be around."_

" _Where are you going?" Olivia starts yawning._

" _I hope to a nice place." Emma thinks of the places she could end up in like the underworld or hell, she just hopes she ends up in heaven that she has done good to get to where ever she is going to end up._

" _It's a nice place here, with Daddy, Henry, Gramps, Grandma, Uncle Neal." Olivia lists the names as she closes her eyes, she has missed this cuddling up and sleeping beside her mum._

" _It is nice here, but when I'm not here, I need you to know you are my smart special little girl. And that I will always love you and I'll be there watching over you even when you can't see me." Emma rest her head on top of Olivia, noticing she has fallen off asleep so quickly._

 _Killian comes storming in through the door. He looks and sees his two favorite girls lying beside each other._

" _Hey." Emma whispers as she lights up as he comes into the room. "She's ok." Emma slowly moves Olivia over a bit on the bed for Killian to join to them._

" _Bloody scared me running off like that, tell you comes from you Swan." He moans finding a little bit of space to lay down on the other side of Olivia._

 _Emma lets out a little laugh._

 _xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

Olivia is now in her room getting herself ready for bed, she ties up her hair into a ponytail she is about to take of her necklaces, when there a wrap at the door. She turns to see Henry's head poking round.

"Can I come in?" he asks walking on in anyway and sitting her bed, he is carrying the book her mum used to read to her sometimes, she knew in it inside out. When Emma died Henry decided he wanted the book to keep as a memory of her.

Olivia joins him on the bed her eyes lighting up from seeing the book.

"I want you to have this." Henry passes her the book over.

"Wait! What! No Henry this book it what you have left of mum." Olivia refuses his kind gesture and tries to pass it back to him but he won't take it.

"Let's just say then I want you to look after it for me then, it's getting heavy carrying around all these different counties while I'm travelling, plus right now I feel like you need it more than me." Henry knew Olivia loved this book also and wanted it when his mum died but he refused to let anyone have it or even go near it until now.

"Thank you." Her face glows as she puts down the book to hug her brother knowing how much it means to give it up to her.

"So." Henry breaks the hug. "Rumor has your applying for colleges now, decided you wanted to go to one then?"

"Yes I just hope dad will be ok in this house on his own." she worries about him. Even though its nearly been 12 years since Emma died he has never loved anyone again, he never remarried or ever dated.

"Sure he has Gramps, they get along like a house on fire." Henry jokes with her. They both know the story of there Gramps and dad not getting along with each other at the start but Killian grew on David. They are like best friends now sometimes have the odd little fight but they always make up again within a few days with Snow telling to wise up.

"What's been bothering you all day? Apart from the whole mum thing seems to be getting to you more this year?" Henry remembers nights he and Olivia bonded more after Emma died when they set and cried up in the attic with each other out of the way not wanting Killian and the rest of the family to worry about them.

"Why am I not special?" she asks him.

Henry is taken back not thinking this is what was bothering her. "You are special child of true love, with great power"

"Yeah? Where is this great power...mum had it. You have it. I'm nothing special everyone in this family has something special about them yet I don't"

"Maybe you take after dad on that side of things." Henry messes her around " It's a pirates life for you."

"Clearly I love a bit of rum." she rolls her eyes.

Olivia closes over the book about her family and their friends. Something bugged her though, some stories were missing. She would have to ask Henry about it in the morning. She places the book on the floor beside her bed. As she is about to put her head to the pillow she still remembers she is wearing her necklaces. She got to keep Emma's Swan necklace and Killian gave her the ring he'd gave Emma when she was the dark one as protection. She takes them off placing them onto top of the storybook.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

During the night the swan necklace and the ring start sparking off each other, they disappear into the book and the book opens the pages starting to turn fast themselves. Suddenly a blinding bright light appears in the room causing Olivia to wake up. As she quickly sits up in her bed she notices a hole starting to form in the ground of her ground.

"DADDY!" she yells. "HENRY!" she continuous screams.

Killian gets up and rushes to her room when he hears her screaming. He notices the bright light coming from on under the bottom of her door. He tries opening it and banging it down nothing is working.

"Hold on...Olivia just hold on." He shouts hoping she can hear him.

Henry joins him at the door and the two of them try getting in but can't.

Olivia screams stop and the light disappears from the room. The door opens causing Henry and Killian to tumble into the room.

Killian rushes to the bed looking under the covers and then out the window, while Henry rushes to the closet looking in there.

"What the bloody hell has happened." Killian is concerned and turns to Henry who's eyes are looking all around the room.

"The book...its gone." Henry coming up with something in his mind that the book might have something to do with this all.

"I can't loose her too." Killian voice breaks.


End file.
